I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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