I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
