the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
