How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
wanna go halves on a baby?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
this hospital has no fireball
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
