I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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