don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
