I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
