drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
