oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
