oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
