i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
