Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
