it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
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