I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
