My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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