Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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