dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
