I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
