She's JV to your varsity
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
