just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
