Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
