well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You made out with two different species that night
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
