he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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