he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
