Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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