Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
