He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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