Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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