Buhtt sex?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
