Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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