you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
