Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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