I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
