rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
