we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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