So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
