I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
