whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
