You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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