hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
be right there i have to get my cape
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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