Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
