its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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