Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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