We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
wow bdsm is so cute
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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