how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
