My liver just broke up with me...
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I love you. Go after that dick
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
