Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
