i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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