Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
