And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
