I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
