I wish I only lived at night.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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