tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
