You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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