by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
